Further Sniping at Writing Advice

Here's a valid definition of a "story":

A story consists of characters that the reader can empathize with in a setting the reader can visualize who are then caught in a bear trap which they escape or address via dint of their own efforts and, in the process, learn something or change in a recognizable way.

Pursuant to that, the Monkey Method (an amalgamation of concepts distilled by Dave Freer):

You get 200 words to hook a reader. In that first 200 words you must establish a character (or characters) the reader can empathize with, build enough of a world for your reader to visualize the surroundings using all five senses (also called "grounding" the reader), and you must provide tension in situation enough that the browser will be inclined to turn the page to find out "what happens next" and thus become a reader.

Three language constructs that stick out to editors and identify beginning writers:

1) Beginning a sentence with a gerund phrase. (First word in a sentence ends with "ing")

2) "As" at the beginning of a sentence and used to denote incongrous simultaneity to actions.

3) Overuse of passive language constructs (i.e. weak "to be" verbs instead of rich action verbs).